Here, Take My Cash! I Throw It At Your Feet
37 minutes ago i woke up from a deep 20 or so minute sleep. I produced a great drool spot on my pillow, as I woke up the drool was totally dripping from my mouth, so good was that feeling.
I am still rather dazed from it which is great; this is the reason I have decided to type some text.
Some mundane list of trivialities will follow as my train of thought goes wherever it may. The last two days impulsive Nathan (I realise that referring to ones self in third person is wanky and annoying but for the purposes of illustration I'm going to roll with it) has returned to haunt my mind, impulsive Nathan is overwhelmed with the desire to spend spend spend, he tricks himself into making unnecessary purchases, he is crafty and careless, he is logic and reason to the wayside, human emotion and clouded judgment as the controlling, driving force.
It all started last Friday when I received a 30% off Borders voucher in my inbox.. ooooh Borders, how I love your emails! So yeah 30% got me pretty wet so to speak and I had my mind set on:
Smart Thinking: Skills for Critical Understanding and Writing (Paperback) - by Matthew Allen a book about the very important skill of critical thinking which I had the PDF of and had even printed out all 207 pages of but it was just too hard to read in A4 single paper form.
So I go into Borders expecting to shell out $28 total - (30% off $40) on "Smart Thinking" and they don't even have it there. I look for it on the computer and get the "Special Order" treatment... Special Order I hate your guts! They might as well replace that "Special Order" .gif with a .gif of a middle finger as that is what it feels like when I go to see if a book is in store and get the "Special Order" treatment. This is the moment when impulsive Nathan kicked in I think, hmmmmm what else can I get so as to use my 30% off? I head to the computer books section and stand next to an obese, stinky man looking for JavaScript books.. I think about his age and skill level (based purely on assumption) and feel good about my age and path. I look for books on Advanced JavaScript but find nothing of interest then eyeball a Flash 8 Visual Quickstart book and ponder whether I could get this but decided against it as I want to focus on other avenues at the moment in my self teaching. I decide against a computer book as I already have 3 I need to go through as it is. I head back over to the look up computer and remember that The Onion has published books. I type in "The Onion" in the keywords search and think about how good the keyboard feels and continue to "touch type" the words..lol "touch type". It's silly but I do actually get a feeling of self satisfaction when I am in a public place and get to use a computer keyboard, I swear my touch typing gets like 5x faster as to show my skills... oooh look at me public.. i can touch type, i'm a douche. Trailing off.. damn.. okay... so I find 3 books released by The Onion and decide to look for them, they are in the "humour" section. After asking a very helpful information kiosk man where the humour section is I find 3 books produced by The Onion and decide on this one (Ad-Nauseum Volume 15) a collection of satirical news articles for the year October 2002-2003.
I am so over this blog entry. Too much train of thought going on, it is all over the place.
Okay, so I get this Onion book and decide that I really want the "Smart Thinking" book after all. I decide to venture down the Rundle to Angus & Robertson to look for it. Angus has it! Woooooo! Angus has everything! I skim the book and when skimming think that It may not be as good as I initially thought but decide to get it anyway. I find it in the Philosophy section. When scanning the philosophy section for a book with a yellow cover I come across 5 books by "Betrand Russell", this captures my attention as I am subscribed to the "Quote of the Day" RSS feed and I remember liking quite a few Bertrand Russell quotes so decide to check out some of his books. As I look over his books I imagine myself in the company of intellectuals or some persons parents and the subject of philosophy comes up, oh yes.. my favourite philosopher is Bertrand Russell I announce like I know what I am talking about... yess! Not that I like to appear smug but it is a pleasing thought to lock that away in case I ever need to use it. Anyway, the title of the book I decide on is:
Sceptical Essays - Betrand Russell.
It reels me in on various levels. One, the title agrees with my sceptical outlook, two, it is Betrand Russell, my "faaaavvouuurrite philosopher", three, the essays I skim over excite me. Essay titles include "Introduction: On the Value of Scepticism", "Dreams and Facts", "Machines and the Emotions", "The Harm that Good Men Do" and "Freedom in Society" to name drop just a few. To continue on this train of thought here is a quote I particularly enjoyed from the book which really shines in the context which it is delivered but still holds value in itself.
We need a morality based upon love of life, upon pleasure in growth and positive achievement, not upon repression and prohibition. A man should be regarded as "good" if he is happy, expansive, generous and glad when others are happy; if so, a few peccadilloes should be regarded as of little importance. But a man who acquires a fortune by cruelty and exploitation should be regarded as at present we regard what is called an "immoral" man; and he should be so regarded even if he goes to church regularly and gives a portion of his ill-gotten gains to public objects. To bring this about, it is only necessary to instill a rational attitude towards ethical questions, instead of the mixture of superstition and oppression which still passes muster as "virtue" among important personages. The power of reason is thought small in these days, but I remain an unrepentant rationalist. Reason may be a small force, but it is constant, and works always in one direction, while the forces of unreason destroy one another in futile strife.- Betrand Russell
Anyway so I get this book $29.95 and Smart Thinking $42.95 at a total of $72.90. The grand total of my Saturday spendings is now around $100.90. It is at this moment that Impulsive Nathan gets a grip and pseudo-rationalises more purchases on some distant, empty thought which in no ways holds any logic or reason, it is as if having a thought in itself is sufficient enough to validate spending more money. In my zombie, impulsive, feeling, meat bag state I walk up and down Rundle in search of some sneakers. I see some great redish/maroony coloured asics in Sole shoes for $129 and drool but somehow hold off and walk on, I visit some unimportant surf shop and see some great reddish/maroony Vans which I have wanted for a while but see the price $140 and back down; impulsive Nathan however is still in full flight and thoughts of purchases bombard my mind, ooooh what about that small black tv you saw in Market Bazaaar, just imagine how cool that would be in your computer room I tell myself. Uggghhhhh.
To continue on this theme of impulsiveness I will jump forward a day to Sunday. I got tickets for Architecture in Helsinki as I like a few songs on the album previous to their latest and head to Flowers Live with a friend. I was expecting to spend maybe $15 max on beers however as I walk past the merch table impulsive Nathan kicks in and sees this sweeet black ven diagram influenced teeshirt. I loooove it, I neeeeeed it. I try on and get. $30.. gone. Then I head over to watch Yacht (U.S.) perform. I liked him. Architecture in Helsinki play and I am far from impressed/entertained/amused. My friend left to go outside 3/4 of the way through because he could not stand it :) The whole cutesy, kindergarten, nonsense themes started to get on my nerves. I don't get it. Stop singing like a kid/tard.. stop singing about bunyips and other non-relevant material. Meh. When something, some movie, music or whatever ventures too far from reality I don't like it for some reason. It does not apply in any way and it is a waste of time. Anyway.. so impulsive Nathan is still alive and all through the mediocre act I am debating whether to get their new cd for $20. Somehow I rationalise the purchase by saying something along the lines of I would just waste the $20 on food anyway. After the show I buy the album from the lead singer who is paying more attention to the girls than me.. granted but in a weird sorta way which was weird. Anyway the album is pretty shit so don't worry about it. Like 3 good songs max. Songs about being underwater... ughhhhh.. what have I just purchased?, I was not in control, impulsive Nathan was. I will close it here.
Other things:
- At work I use an iMac and am loving it! Macs rule and I find myself coming home to my boring pc and wishing I had the fancy Mac in front of me.
- Frank Musik is my latest musical obsession
- I love the latest P.Diddy album, "Press Play" especially the song, "Come To Me".. yeah.. I also enjoy saying Diddy.
- Recently watched this great documentary: The Century Of The Self
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Posted by Nathan Kowald @ 8:45 PM
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